Update

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

I've had my homestudy update and requested another Adam Walsh clearance. Once I get that, I can apply for fingerprints and an I171-H extension.

I need to bring my girls in person someplace to renew their passports so I'll do that Thursday since I have off of work. I tried bringing them to the post office a week ago Saturday, but there was a big sign that said they only do passports Monday-Friday from 9-3. Once we get all passports back, we'll apply for Visa's. I need to find a courier service for that. My agency does it but I think a courier service would be less expensive.

I ordered a camera package with a panda bear, letter, camera, candies, pictures of us, and a pillow with our pictures on it to be delivered to the orphanage in Shanghai. Hopefully it will find it's way to Amanda. I asked for them to see if they can get the camera back so we can get some updated pictures, but I'll just have to wait to see if they can. I used Blessed Kids for this.

Santa brought a couple gifts to our house for Amanda. Hopefully he brought some to her in Shanghai as well.

I'm moving into Dance production season, girl scout cookie season, and busy season (also known as mandatory 48 hour work weeks) in a couple weeks. So I'll be very busy. I'm sure the time will fly by and I'll be going crazy trying to get everything done.

March 10th, 2011

Looks like we'll shoot for departing for China on this day! Woohoo!!!

TA - Travel Approval Received!

Back to freaking out!

My work wants me to wait until after our horrendously busy season due to 2 people (out of only 42 employees) retiring in October and December, and them not being replaced yet. What do I do?!?! I don't want to leave Amanda any longer than I have to, but it would be better for me to wait until March. Ack! Stay tuned!

Talk About Fast.

I sent my passport renewal application on November 15th and I got it back already! The date on it is November 19th. A few days turnaround. Wow!

Anyway, now I'm finally getting anxious for my TA (travel approval) to come so I can get my consulate appointment and know when I'm going to travel.

I decorated my Christmas tree early this year - usually I wait until after my birthday on the 2nd, but decided with the long weekend to do it early. It was fun to hang Amanda's stocking this year even though there was some jealousy over the tassle she had on her's and the patterns that could be seen in Jessica's and the multiple colors in mine.

Today Marks Month 48

But I'm not longer waiting for a referral, I'm waiting for Travel Approval (TA), and then I can set the time for travel. It will be in February since I can't go in December or January. It's still all so surreal to me. One day I can't wait to go get her and check sites to see the cost of airfare the end of December, and then other days I wonder how I'll ever pay for it all and if I'm doing the right thing for our family. It costs a lot more than it did 9 years ago, plus I feel I need to bring Jessica and Anna with me which adds a lot to the cost. They've waited as long as I have, and I just don't think they'd forgive me for not bringing them along. I promised after all that I'd take them and they've told all their friends. But that was before the ecomony tanked and I actually had a savings account. I trust and pray that it will all work out as it should. Somehow I'll figure it all out.

Freaking Out Right Now

You'd think after waiting nearly 4 years from LID (I hit that landmark next Monday), that I'd be a little more prepared to move to the travel planning stage. Well, I'm not and I'm freaking out a little, okay, make that a lot here!

I had 3 major life events happen within a span of 4 days from October 16-October 20. I moved, my mom passed away (very unexpectedly), and I got my referral. I've finally finished moving, but still have to unpack. My mom's stuff is taken care of for the most part, but I'm still in shock. And now I'm getting travel prep stuff from my agency.

I still have to finish 3 more Hague training credits (I've kept my I-600a up-to-date, but the agency asks for it anyway). I'm sending my passport renewal application off today. I still need to work on my girls' who's also expired. My fingerprints will expire before I travel in February. I need to update my homestudy for my new address. I'm just not ready.

I know I freaked out a little with my other girl's trips, but I was at least emotionally ready for this. I still have to deal with Thanksgiving, my birthday, December 2nd, Christmas, New Year's, Chinese New Year, my girls dance production that will take up all of my January weekends.

Where's the money going to come from and how soon will I need it?! The longer I keep it in my 401k plan, the more I'll have available. Yikes!!

Okay, I feel better just venting. And one of my coworkers who's privy to my life came over and let me vent as well, so I feel better.

Introducing Amanda Li Kasper

Here she is! Qian Yu Xi is 4 1/2 years old and in foster care in Shanghai. Birthday is March 10, 2006. I probably won't travel until February to get her. I still can't believe she's finally real!!

Stay Tuned...

Keep your fingers crossed or say a little prayer that things work out the way they are supposed to.

Woohoo on Referrals!

My agency got 2 groups of LID's in this referral batch. Only 3 days included in the batch, but I consider it progress.

46 Months

I really can't believe I'm approaching the 4 year mark and there's still no end in sight. I think to stay on the NSN track, I'm going to be looking at a 6 year wait at this point. I can't even imagine the wait for those behind me in line. Maybe my agency will bring back good news from China.

Then again, maybe not. I've got other things going on right now, so it's not the best time. But if the right child comes around, I'm not going to say no.

Sorry I haven't posted

Wow, I didn't realize I haven't posted since July! I totally missed month 45 of waiting. Lots going on including school starting.

8 Years Ago

8 years ago in Wuhan, Hubei, China, I adopted Anna. I can't believe it's been 8 years already. She just turned 9 and is already growing into a young lady. Very independent, very capable, and very girly. I always say that Jessica made me a mom, and Anna made us a family. Happy Family Day to us!

44 Months

43 Months and STILL Waiting

with no end in sight! It's hard to still be waiting. I look at the Waiting Children and hope and pray. I hope each month that CCAA will include more days than everyone thought they would, but they don't. Sometimes I wonder why I still wait. I know the answer: because I still believe it will happen. Because my girls still want a sister. Hopefully someday before we quit caring...

42 Months - 3 1/2 Years of Waiting

41 Months Down

It's been 41 months since my original log-in date. There's still no end in sight. I did look at a waiting child's file. She was cuter than all get-out, but her needs were more than I could provide for. My girls are getting very anxious for a sister. Wish I knew what to say to them other than it's in China's hands and we don't know how long it will take.

Family Day - 10 Years Ago Today

10 years ago today I became a mom. A group of 6 families boarded a plane in Beijing and flew to Chongqing, China so full of anticipation and maybe a little fear, too. We were met at the airport with 2 buses. One took our luggage to the hotel and the other took our group to the Civil Affairs office to meet and adopt our children. I remember walking in and seeing the babies with their nannies. Once I picked up Jessica, the rest of the world stood still and it was just us. She was everything I'd dreamed of and more. The most beautiful baby in the world. Wow, I can't believe it's been 10 years now. I remember it like it was yesterday, yet at the time it was all a blur. Here's a picture of us from the first minute we met, and another from this afternoon.

I'm so grateful to all those that helped along the way. I'm so blessed to have such a supportive family. And the great friends I have today, I would never have met had I not started on this journey called adoption. Thank you to those that took care of my daughter her first 9 months. Thank you to her birth family who gave her life and who had to make difficult decisions that eventually led my daughter to me and me to her. I so wish you could see what a wonderful young lady she is becoming.

Helping Out - Friends Fundraisers

I've added a link list on my blog in the upper right to list fundraisers for families I know who are waiting and working towards bringing their child home. If you'd like me to list yours, please email me at chinamom.2@q.com

Forgot 40 LID-iversary & CCAA Change

I totally missed my 40th LID-iversary on March 22nd. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I guess I've just been busy.

And from the Rumor Queen site:

Apparently the CCAA is about to change from the China Center of Adoptive Affairs to the China Child Welfare Center (CCWC), responsible for protecting the welfare of all children – particularly orphans, children with disabilities and serious illnesses, children of migrant workers, single parent households, and families living in poverty.

No idea how that will affect referrals. I guess time will tell. Looks like my agency might get skipped in referrals this month. Wahhh!

39 Month LID-iversary

Dreams

When Anna woke up this morning, she said that she had a really long dream about Amanda. And she said "Amanda is 4 years old." I wonder...

Reflecting

11 years ago around this time of year (right before Valentine's Day) I started to believe I'd really be able to adopt from China some day. I bought a couple of size 9 month outfits and hung them on my bedroom door knob so I could look at them every day. It was a only a few weeks later, March 2nd, 2009 that I finally started the process and sent my application in to adopt my first daughter. I had researched, prayed, and dreamed about it for a good 3 1/2 years before then. I'm so luckly that I was able to adopt not just my Jessica, but also Anna. Now I also wait for Amanda. I still hope, pray, and believe that one day, she will finally come home.

Who would have ever thought that over 3 years after having my dossier logged in in China, that I would still be waiting?! The excitement was so great in the beginning. I moderate not only the November LID group, but also the October. We were doing swaps and all kinds of really fun activities. But the wait has dragged on. No one is talking on our groups. Many have switched to special needs and have been home with their children a long time. Several have switched countries. Several have decided to pull their dossiers. Someone posted yesterday that they decided to pull their dossier and I am so sad for them. I know it was a very difficult decision. In many ways, I understand it. But I am so sad that the child they dreamed about for 3 1/2 years give or take will never join their family.

Life had changed so much for all of the families waiting. Sometimes I wish those of us still waiting were talking more. I pull up their blogs and so many have not posted for months on end. But I understand. What is there to say? There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Other than CCAA is referring 2006 dossiers and ours is 2006 and not 2007, 2008, 2009 or 2010. I do believe for those of us who hang in there, there will be a baby/child some day. We just don't know how long we'll have to hang in there. I know my life is much different than it was 3 1/2 years ago. But the decisions I am making are for the good of my family and because no matter what I propose to my girls, they still want Amanda over almost anything else I've asked them "what if?"

For those who are home with their children - congratulations! We are all truly happy for you, it's just difficult sometimes to know you found joy and we're still waiting. For those waiting, I'm right there with you. I realize I'm one of the lucky ones who already has 2 wonderful daughters from China. But I also remember the ache of wanting my first, Jessica. I ached for Anna and I ache for Amanda as well. It's not quite the same as the first ache, I know that and I so feel for you. I do have faith that we will all someday get our children. I just long for the days when we think 7 or even 13 months is forever (like I did when I was waiting for Jessica and Anna).

So there you go. I guess seeing Lisa pull out got me to thinking. I pray that well all find peace in our decisions and that the children waiting in China and around the world for their forever families find their families.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

Happy Year of the Tiger!!

Here is the forecast for my sign for this year:

The Pig
The Pig is an innocent, sweet and lovable personality. They can also be quite melancholy and over-sensitive. The Pig loves the company of others, and adores parties, gossip and chit chat. They are highly intelligent, but prefer to keep this side of their nature under wraps. The Pig does not care that much for money, but is one of the zodiac signs that is very lucky.

Forecast for 2010

The Pig loves activity and challenges and the Year of the Tiger will certainly provide this. There may be additional financial pressure on the Pig this year, but with prudent spending and consideration, this need not be a problem. The Pig is an open, friendly soul and very trusting, but this year he must be wary. It’s possible that gossip may prove too tempting or that he may listen to false advice, causing upset and trouble. Be guarded and careful this year! The Pig must ensure that he follows up all correspondence or financial dealings – to delay or overlook details will prove costly. Short, fun, unplanned trips will feature throughout the year and will be excellent for off-setting any stresses and pressure the Year of the Tiger may bring. Interest in spirituality and self-development will be to the fore and any opportunity to study and explore these should be taken. November to January will provide excellent opportunites for changing career direction or to find a new job. August to December will prove particularly social, with many fun occasions and opportunities to make new friends.

Interesting Pig Facts

Zodiac Stone: Ruby

Special Flower: Chrysanthemum

Best Hours: 9-11 pm

Season: Autumn

Horoscope Colors: Purple, Red, White

38 Months

Between trying to clean and organize, extra working hours, the girls big dance production this weekend, and girl scout cookies we've been pretty busy. Today marks the 38 month LID'iversary. I suspect I'll be posting a lot more LID'iversaries. Amanda is always in our thought though no matter how busy we are.