Update

Wow, I can't believe how time flies! It's been almost 4 months since we first saw Amanda and it seems like so much longer.

Amanda/YangYang has come a long way. The first Sunday we were home, we went to dance class even though it was Easter. It seems like every mom, dad, grandparent, and child that spoke both Mandarin and English were at dance class. They loved Amanda. And it had the effect on her I had hoped it would - that I wasn't trying to take away everything she knew and that I did know people who could speak her language and keep her connected with her culture. When we went home that day, she decided to tackle her fear of the dogs and cat. She now loves them all. And who wouldn't love live stuffed animals?!! And after some initial fears on their part, Lucy, Sophie, and Jinny now love Amanda as well!



Within 2-3 months, Amanda was understanding pretty much everything we say. Sometimes I have to find another word or way to describe things, but now she is hardly doing any pantomime to get her point across. She is speaking sentences.

She loves the extended family ("family - good" is what she said after the first time meeting them). We've been to dance recitals, concerts, camping, vacation bible school, school shopping, ride the bus night. All fun things.



I would say Amanda's favorite activity is riding her bike or scooter. She's definitely got a lot of energy. I call her the Engergizer Bunny. She keeps going and going. Jessica says "she never stops talking!" I keep telling her that YangYang is 5. She's doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing.



She's had a few breakdowns as any 5 year old would. The kicking and screaming goes on until we are both exhausted. The last time, I told her I loved her all the time. All of a sudden she goes "WHAT?!?!?!" So I explained that I loved her in the morning, during the day and at night. I loved her when she was sad, mad, happy, excited. All the time.

She loves outdoors and activities. She likes to jump - around the house, on the bed, from the dresser to the bed. I know she'd be great at gymnastics, but I've decided we need to stick with dance - Chinese dance. She has watched Jessica and Anna at dance practice and now Jessica is teaching her some of the stretching and gymnastics part of dance. We've also found the other girls old dance outfits and shoes. She's excited about starting.

She also loves princesses, dressing up pretty especially in the princess costumes we saved, and watching Disney movies. I keep kicking myself for selling so many of the things I sold just last summer at my garage sales. I guess I had given up on believing I'd get Amanda. Sometimes I still can't believe she's actually home!


I still have to stop myself from looking at the waiting child list. Long-term habits are hard to break. I guess I've been planning for and/or waiting for my kids for the last 15 years or so and I now need some new long-term goals so I can move on.

Saturday

Yesterday and today have been good days. I guess I'm not as scarey as the dogs are. Amanda slept in my bed the first night and let me carry her to the bathroom when she needed to go. The next morning I let her know I was going to let the dogs outside and she hid on the other side of the bed. Later in the day, she was fine with me holding one dog at a time in the same room as her. She actually pet the cat in the evening. No tantrums. She started pointing to things so I could tell her what we call them and she was going through the stickers and the First Thousand Words book. She decided to sleep in the bedroom she shares with Anna last night. She's the first to adjust to local time. The rest of us are all off kilter.

This morning Anna claimed she hadn't slept most of the night and then fell asleep on my bed. Jessica felt warm yesterday and slept most of the day and was up way too late, so was also asleep. So I decided to see if Amanda would go to the post office and Target with me while sitting in the car seat. No problems on either front. She hopped right in the car seat and enjoyed her trip to Target with me talking the whole time. She didn't have any trouble putting everything she saw into the cart, but didn't protest at all when I took things back out.

I'm waiting for a call letting me know my tire is fixed - it went flat while we were gone. Then tonight another friend and her daughters are coming for a short visit to meet Amanda. We'll also color eggs later. I think we'll stay home tomorrow. I just talked to one of my brothers to let him know we're not ready to entertain anyone at our house yet and I'd rather not travel too far, so maybe we can get together next weekend after we're a little more settled. He traveled to the Ukraine last year so figured we'd need some time to get settled and back to normal or to our new normal. There is still dance tomorrow, so I'll try to bring the girls to that since they have a recital in a few weeks. There should be some Mandarin speaking parents and kids there and I hope they can see if Amanda has any questions now that she's home. Then we can have a nice family dinner at home and Jessica and Anna can get ready to return to school on Monday.

We Made It Home Safe and Sound!

We left for the airport at 7:00 a.m. for our 10:10 flight. Check in went well and then we had to say goodbye to our fantastic guide. It was hard to say goodbye. I don't know how I would have made it through without her. If you're lucky enough to have Veronica, she is the absolute best!

We landed 20 minutes late in Tokoyo. I wasn't 100% positive we were late because they only announced the local time in Japanese, not in the Chinese or English translation. But I figured between 20 minutes late and 40 minutes early, we were most likely late. As soon as we got off the plane, there were airline personnel asking MSP?? Then I saw a sign with our names. Then it got really funny as they started running us through the airport. Through security. Down to a bus to drive us from one terminal to another. Amanda wasn't moving any faster than a slow walk and at one point I saw a woman carrying her and running as we tried to get to our connecting flight as soon as possible. We pretty much had a private transfer bus and at that point the guy said he'd called ahead and let them know we were coming, checked to see if our luggage was checked all the way through (yes), and if we had boarding passes (no). In the end, we were seated 20 minutes before the plane took off, but we were all laughing. Amanda was carrying a big stuffed Goat/Sheep and a flight attendant thought it was so cute she had Jessica take a picture with her.

We slept off and on the entire trip back. Immigration took awhile as the agent took care of all the attendants and pilots from our flight first. I found it funny too that the family in the room next to us at the White Swan were in front of us when we got back to the US.

After going through immigration and customs, we got to see a some friends and their daughters who met us at the airport. Amanda got to see right away that there were other families like hers. Then she had her first experience with a carseat and that's when she lost it. She had a tantrum the entire way home. My friends stayed a little while (I wonder if Amanda thought she's aquired 2 more sisters?) then left us. Amanda did not like our dogs and cat. She was petrified of them, so they will be spending some extra kennel time until she gets more comfortable being around them.

Wednesday

This is our last day in China. I am sad to leave because I don't know when we will ever come back. But I am also very anxious to get home and start our lives as a family Today was a quiet day. We had a nice breakfast, went out for a small lunch, and a final group supper at Lucy's. In between, we mostly hung out in the hotel with the girls playing. Amanda kept getting me to look at her jumping around, writing her alphabet, or coloring. We did a lot of high 5's. There were a few tears when I got her breakfast instead of one of her sisters, or when she was turning off the bathroom light while Jessica was in there and Anna tried to stop her. But for the most part, those tears were short lived and she was happy - we all were happy. She was also looking for lots of approval from me which was nice. Tomorrow we leave the hotel at 7:00 a.m. so this will be my last post from China.

I've really enjoyed the whole trip although there were some really tough times and some challenges along the way. It was nice to share this with Jessica and Anna as well, and I'm sure that having all 3 of my girls here is what made it so enjoyable to me.

Today Amanda and I got up early as we had to be on the bus to the US Consulate by 7:30. I let Jessica and Anna sleep in. Amanda wasn't happy, cried and whined down to breakfast, but decided she'd cooperate. By the time breakfast was over, she held my hand to meet by the elevators. Slow and steady.

The Consulate appointment went well up until the point where they said they didn't get my updated I-171H with my correct address. I spent weeks getting that corrected at home and thought it was all corrected. I tried to keep my emotions in check but as soon as the director of the adoption unit at the consulate asked me if all was well, I started crying. Couldn't help it. Yesterday I had t deal with finding a new way to Tokoyo and today I have a glitch in getting Amanda's visa which we need for Amanda to come to the US. The director assured me it would get worked out, that Amanda was still mine (I knew that, but emotions run high). So I had to go back to the hotel room, find my I-171H, call my agencies emergency number, then forward the email I'd originally sent them with the correct form, then wait. (This morning, Wed morning) I did get an email that the form followed it's way through official channels (USCIS to NBC to NVS to the US Consulate in Guangzhou) by 4:41 central US time. So my guide should be able to pick up Amanda's visa this afternoon.

After that our group met to take a Red Couch picture (always have to do that at the White Swan). And then I took the girls out for lunch since Jessica and Anna missed breakfast. Did a little wandering around looking at the shops, then took the girls swimming. We met the group for a group supper and I couldn't keep my eyes focised while trying to write in my journal, so gave up and called it a night. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Today is a free day as 4 of our 6 families have consulate appointments today and then our guide pick's up Amanda's and the other famillies visas at 3:30. Tomorrow we leave for home. It will be a long day with flights, but I think we're all ready to quit living out of a hotel room and get home. Not many pictures from yesterday, so I'll include Monday nights playing with mom's hair, the red couch, and the pool.

Monday

Today we went to Yuntai Garden in the morning followed by lunch at another Cantonese place. This afternoon was more wandering around Shamian Island checking out the new places - Susan's, Emma's, Jordon's, etc. For supper, I just got some noodle bowls for the girls from the local 7-11. Much more relaxing day. Amanda was great today. She held my hand going down to breakfast, let me walk her around so she could point to what she wanted. She was hanging out with the 6 year old who's new brother is also from Shanghai. I got some hugs tonight and the girls put almost every one of Amanda's hair dealies in my hair. I wish every day could be like today.

The bad part of today is that when I confirmed my flights home, I found out Delta has cancelled all flights between Guangzhou and Tokoyo until July because of the earthquake in Japan. I had our guide help me figure out what to do. Delta wanted me to take a flight from Hong Kong. But they would not pay for the train ride from Guangzhou to Hong Kong and the night in the hotel in Hong Kong because of the early flight. I already paid for the last night at the White Swan and since Delta cancelled the flight figured they needed to figure out how I was going to make the Tokoyo to home flight. So now we're taking a later flight from Guangzhou to Tokoyo with China Southern airline. We only have an hour to make the connecting flight which Delta thinks is enough. Some prayers and crossed fingers that we don't run into any problems with the flight. Tomorrow we get up early for our 8:30 U.S. Consulate appointment.

Sunday

Today we visited the Chen Family Temple. I saw it back in 2000 when I adopted Jessica, but not in the same detail. After that we visited a government store (one where they don't bargain and where our guide said we could be assured of the quality of the items). Then we went out for a group lunch to sample cantonese cuisine. Nothing wierd although the carmeled apples where new. Then we went back to the hotel for a free afternoon. Anna, Amanda, and I walked around and checked out the stores. Jennifer's has moved and is not nearly as nice a store as it was before. The granite etchings and people painting pictures from the inside of the snuff bottles were there, but you had to look for them. Very different now that there aren't nearly as many adoptions occurring. One shopkeeper asked me why because there were still children needing homes. I told her I wish I knew. They seem to be aware of the timeline being so long and the large number of special needs children now being adopted.

It was Jessica's family day (adoption day). We were planning to go out to eat, but it was raining really hard. Our guide said KFC, McDonalds and Papa Johns all deliver, so she'd call and order what we wanted. We tried KFC, but they didn't deliver french fries, so we went with McDonalds. Veronica also bought us a cake for our family day.


Amanda had another hour and a half cry. Veronica suggested letting her try to work it out. It's hard to know how much to press it. We still have good times and bad. It helps knowing other families are also dealing with tantrums and other issues regardless of the age of their new child.

Saturday

First day at the White Swan in Guangzhou. Still a nice breakfast buffet. It was nice to see the families we were with last Saturday in Beijing, see their new children and see how they were all doing. After breakfast we walked to the shop that does visa photos. That hasn't changed from the first time I was here. Then we walked over to the medical office which is still the same as when I was there for Anna 9 years ago. They checked out her eyes quite a bit and if I could read Chinese characters, I think I got the prescription she'll need for her glasses. Every child over 2 had to have a TB test. Amanda was last and even Veronica was worried because she held her tight, held her face away from what was going on, and in the end, she didn't cry at all. She showed everyone the blood like it was a battle scar.

Much of Shamian Island has changed (like the Consulate is no longer on the island next to the hotel, and Jennifer's and Sherry's aren't down the street they were), but a lot is still the same (Lucy's is still there, the visa photo place, 7-11, medical office). It's nice to be in a familiar spot where I know we can wander. We also completed all our paperwork this afternoon. So all we need to do before the consulate appointment on Tuesday is go back to read the TB test. Tomorrow and Monday our guide will take us on a tour and some shopping places. Anna can't wait to go swimming. Amanda was excited to see the pool, so I think she's been swimming before. She's been exposed to so many more things than most kids from orphanages due to her being in foster care. I'm also pleased that she seems to be so developmentally on target. She can write and recite the alphabet. She can tie her shoes and is great at coloring. She even put her Coming Home Barbie's hair into pony tails. We didn't need the crib in the room, but it was nice that the hotel still gives the Barbie to adoptive families. It also appears she can read some Chinese characters.

Tonight we had a group supper at Lucy's which was nice. And a few minutes ago I got a big, big hug from Amanda - totally her idea as I am sitting at the desk on the computer. She's slowly getting used to me. She's bonded with her big sisters immediately and was really really jealous when Anna started playing with another little girl. I get some smiles and hugs every now and then. And every now and then she remembers she's not supposed to like me and gets mad.

Friday

Friday we pretty much sat around the hotel room. Our flight wasn't until 6:30 (and was delayed an hour), and our guide was able to go to Civil Affairs to pick up the final paperwork without us. Amanda was a bit stubborn before breakfast because she wanted some gum. I decided to let her have it just so we wouldn't start out the day with a tantrum. After breakfast the girls were running and jumping around in the room. Anna came over and gave me a big bear hug and Amanda came over and hugged us both. A little bit later, she came to me on her own and gave me the biggest, tightest hug. It was everything I could do not to cry. She's definitely starting to come around to me.

But then around 11:00, she wanted something - I suspected from the minibar, but we had apple juice, grape juice and water that we couldn't take with us on the plane, so I said no. She got her sullen look then started to cry. I let her stand there for awhile, then picked her up and sat on the bed holding her and trying to let her cry it out. Eventually that led to a 1 hour and 15 minute tantrum. I think the communication barrier is much harder for her than for us. I started talking and throwing in a little of my limited Mandarin. She kept yelling at me every time I started talking. Whether she was yelling at me to "stop talking" or to "shut up", I'm not sure, but the sentiment was the same. I kept telling her Boo, No. I know it's hard, but I'm the mom and I can talk when I want to. Finally, she fell asleep, but then housekeeping, and then our guide came and she only slept for 15 minutes. Then our guide gave her a long lecture and then explained the rest of the day's plans to her.

She actually loved the airplane ride, totally got that we were flying in the air. I got a shaking peace sign with both hands. There was a little crying when Anna wouldn't give her something she wanted for supper and I wouldn't let her have the nutty treats until after she ate some of her meal. When we got to the hotel room she wouldn't go inside, but I think the way she ran in later and laughed, that she was trying to kid us. So now we're at the White Swan. Still over rated in my book. Small sink area and you have to pay for internet access here - it was free in the other hotels. They put a crib/toddler bed in our room. Jessica wanted to sleep in it, but not Amanda. She opted to sleep on a blanket on the floor between the 2 beds. No pictures today.

Today we visited the Shanghai City orphanage. It is a wonderful facility. They showed us the rehabilitation center where outside families can bring their children as well. They have an area for autistic children, physical therapy, and accupunture, and the area for deaf and hard of hearing kids was on the second floor. Then we visited Amanda's classroom so she could say goodbye to her friends. I took a picture of her with her best friend, a boy. Most of the kids in the class appeared to be boys. They told us that pretty much all of the children are considered special needs since most couples in urban areas like Shanghai don't care whether they have girls or boys. The children in the classroom performed a song for us before we left. There was another little boy who cannot be adopted because of his heart issues, but who has a man I believe he said he was a retired banker from Poland who visits him twice a year, who came and brought treats for everyone and Amanda managed to snare a few of those as well.

Amanda took the visit very well. They children were glad to see her, and she understood that she was here to say goodbye to her friends. When we were outside, a group of teenagers (over 13 so too old to be adopted) from the orphanage came out to study outside. They all seemed to know Amanda. There was a girl in a wheelchair who appeared to me to be sad that YangYang was leaving. All in all, it was a nice visit and it was really nice to see what a wonderful facility it was. Our guide said that in the big cities a lot of the big companies donate funds to the orphanages because they mostly have children with special needs and it helps provide therapy and other medical, psychological and emotional needs.

After that, we visited YuYuan Park. The park itself is beautiful. It is surrounded by shops and crawling with people. We had lunch at McDonalds. Amanda has obviously eaten there before, probably with her foster family. She knew she wanted a hangbao (hamburger) and fries and asked for it before I could even show her the menu. One of the words I know.

Tonight we will go out for supper to a local Chinese restaurant. Tomorrow our guide will pick up the passports and certificates from Civil Affairs and we will be able to leave Shanghai for Guangzhou. Our flight doesn't leave, however until about 6:30 p.m. She said we'd probably not get to the White Swan hotel until about 11:30 tomorrow night.

Zhouzhuang

Today we visited one of the water cities. It was fun and a nice day. There really isn't that much to post, so I'll post more photos. As far as Amanda's adjustment, she did have another meltdown this afternoon - perhaps too hungry, likely too tired. Tonight we're having a good time with tickling, pillow fights, and spending a little time repeating words from the First Thousand Words book and especially trying to learn "potty". She does know bubbles, though as she just asked for them.

Yesterday was difficult. Today will be better.

Today YangYang let me dress her. She opted for the jeans and t-shirt. She has definite opinions. She also let me sit by her at breakfast and was pretty proud when she was able to stab a sausage piece with her fork. So much progress.

Then we headed off to Civil Affairs to make the adoption official. The orphanage rep was there and she speaks English. She was so happy to see YangYang adjusting so well. She told me she was really nervous after yesterday. We had a short interview and the Civil Affairs officer also spoke English. Perhaps due to Shanghai being such an urban, global city. Once the adoption certificate was ready, the Civil Affairs officer presented the certificate to me in a room set up for a nice photo opportunity. She's officially ours!!

Then we had to go to the notary's office to notarize the adoption certificate and finish the prep work on the certificates needed for the US side of the paperwork. While there, I also received a copy of Amanda's finding ad and the most precious gift Amanda will get. When she was found, her birth parents had left a letter with her. It wasn't just a note with her birthday like I expected. In fact, her birthday wasn't even listed. Veronica translated it to me right away and I of course cried. The letter said they were a married couple who did not live in Shanghai, but worked there. They did not have the means to take care of a baby although she was healthy. They hoped someone would be able to care for her and provide for her. What a gift!

After that we were supposed to visit the orphanage, but by the time we would have gotten there, it would have been nap time and we would not be able to see any of the children. Our children would not have been able to say goodbye to their friends. So we will go there Thursday morning instead. More time will be good. So instead, we went to a Walmart Supercenter. I bought Amanda some new socks as she was drowning in the ones I brought. I also bought her a t-shirt with Minnie Mouse. Disney marketing works all over the world. Amanda wanted that one above the 6 or 7 others we showed her and she kept checking to make sure it was still in the cart (which she opted to sit in today). We also bought some bubbles from the toy section. Yes, she pointed out others, but also learned that her new mama isn't going to buy her everything.

Before going back to the hotel, we stopped for pizza at a place Veronica liked. I made the mistake of not getting a separate cup for Amanda to get pop and she got all sullen again. I figured she could have my water, but she wants what her sisters get. After getting the cup she was fine. She also liked the popcorn chicken I got her and especially liked it with ketchup. She wanted to let me know she really liked that! She called me mama a couple times today - another when she wanted to play with the bubbles back at the hotel.

There was another misunderstanding between Anna and Amanda back at the hotel where Amanda ended up crying. Veronica happened to call and was able to translate that Amanda wanted to wash her hands and Anna thought she was going to dump the bubble stuff. Veronica told me I was a very good mom. I was feeling like the language barrier might be a bigger hurdle than I thought, but she assured me things were going very well.

For bed, Veronica had told YangYang to let me give her a bath and put on the pajamas I brought for her. Amanda did let me give her a bath, but wanted the Minnie Mouse t-shirt to wear for bed. So I put that on her and the summer pajama shorts I brought for Guangzhou. I was exhausted and fell asleep by 9:00 so am sending this post Wednesday morning. It was the first good night's sleep I had since coming here.